Thank God I don't Travel Much

Man, based on my miserable experience travelling lately I think we need a song parody on the travel experience you'll have with the airlines these days. Let's use "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver.

Well life at the airlines is kinda messed up
Won’t even let me bring in the coffee in my cup
Yet 3 hours early is when they want me to show up
Thank God I don’t travel much

Well I’m a reasonable guy but this process is really slow
You’ve now checked all my documents at 8 points in a row
Like I’d be going somewhere between them don’t ya know
Thank God I don’t travel much

Well I got my 3oz bottles, my laptop is out
I’ll make it through security in 3 hours thereabout
I’m in my barefeet now with bacteria in the grout
Thank God I don’t travel much

When the process is all done and I need to eat some food
Cause they don’t serve on the plane; not that it was ever good
But now I find no restaurants placed in the gate are where they should
Thank God I don’t travel much

I’d complain about the blankets they no longer keep
Or the headphones and videos gone because they are too cheap
Or the single ply TP that almost made me weep
Thank God I don’t travel much

They can keep you overnight and not care at all
They won’t pay your extra parking cost; to ask you’ve got some gall
Extra charges for your luggage is their latest scheming call
Thank God I don’t travel much