50 Billion to Steal from Investors

Well, in honor of the biggest scam ever conceived in Wall Street, we'll dedicate a parody of Paul Simon's 'Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover' to cover off on Bernie Madoff's Ponzie scam of 50 billion out of investors.

“The problem of big returns is all inside your head” he said to me
The answer is easy if you set it up as a big Ponzie
I’d like to help you in your struggle to make money
There must be 50 billion dollars to steal from investors

He said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my scam won’t be caught or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be 50 billion dollars to steal from investors
50 billion to steal from investors

You just set a Ponzi scam, Sam
Tell your investors a lie, Ty
You need to collect the dough, Joe
To make tons of money
Swindle the very rich, Bitch
BS the skeptical ones, huns
Make up great results, Shultz
And make money

He said it grieves me so to see you without gains
‘Money to steal’ potentiality is valid and still remains
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the 50 billion

He said why don’t you just buy a hooker for the night
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then he set me up with a dividend and I realized he was right
There must be fifty billion dollars to steal from investors
Fifty billion to steal from investors

You just set a Ponzi scam, Sam
Tell your investors a lie, Ty
You need to collect the dough, Joe
To make tons of money
Swindle the very rich, Bitch
BS the skeptical ones, huns
Make up great results, Shultz
And make money